Xethie

ABOUT ME

Sex: Female. Age: 23. Height: 5'1 ft. Weight: 101 lbs. Zodiac Sign: Cancer. Location: Virginia, USA. Personality: Introvert. Ethnicity: Salvadorian.

INTEREST

Korea. Japan. Gore. Anime. Bows. History. Lefty. Winker. Fitness. Comics. Tribal. West Coast. Gaming. Middle East. Spiritual. News. Sci-fi. Horror/Comedy/Romance films. Dance. Soca. Hip Hop. EDM. Kpop. Gyaru. MMA. Liquid Eyeliner. 25. Porn. Cosplay.

Enjoy your stay ^-^

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  1. One way of cleansing and giving my crystals energy.

    One way of cleansing and giving my crystals energy.

     
  2. Managing and Reflecting

    So after being super emotional I got my shit together and here’s how.

    - jogging
    - healing crystals
    - keeping mind distracted (baby bro, YouTube,)
    - faking a smile and laughing a lot
    - friends
    - changing perception

    I was able to slowly but surely move forward because of these things. The last thing I did which I believe to be important is go back and read the messages. I was so emotional at the time I read them that it lost it’s actual meaning. I created my own and obviously being sad and depressed I interpreted them in that way.

    Now I feel silly because I wasn’t just that to him. He told me how much he appreciated me and that my personality is the bomb. But me being so hurt completely skipped through that.

    Truth is I’ll always be a bit butthurt if I never hear from this fool again. I just gotta accept it if that’s they way things are gonna be, I know. But hey at least I made a good impact on this bitches life.

     
  3. Healing process begins

    After I was basically told I was good just for fun and nothing more I tried to find distraction in things. I watched YouTube videos, cleaned my room, plucked my eyebrows aha and got on my computer. Oh boy, it wasn’t easy cause I was still hurt, but I watched a live show of FouseyTube and it got my mind preoccupied. For several hours I found myself laughing and the pain was fading. Once that ended it was time to head to bed. I wrapped two blankets over me. Usually it’s one, but I needed the comforting. I was scared of trying to fall asleep because that’s when you mostly have deep thoughts. I had my phone with me to help the transition. When I got super tired that I couldn’t read a sentence that’s when I fell asleep.

    I woke up around 5am because I started to sweat. I got on my phone and bang the shitty feeling came back. I forced myself to sleep and it worked. I then woke up at 7am and had a headache. The pain was just not letting go but I managed to sleep.

    In the morning I woke up feeling super emotional. I had tears running down and toilet paper was being used as tissues. I think it all hit me today especially the fear of us never speaking again. That utterly makes me feel miserable. There is nothing that ties us together. Even writing that crushes my heart. I might not talk to a lot of my friends but I do like to know they are doing fine. In this case that’s not even possible. Goodbyes were told and that’s that.

    I know with time I will get better. My heart is hurt, but it’s not as bad as the first time. I went outside today to get some fresh air and it helped. Nature has it’s way of being there for you. So if you’re down just let Mother Nature do the healing.

     
  4. Back when even my eyebrows were dyed.

     
  5. I think this photo is from last year. I want to buy these contacts again!

     
  6. I’m not the kind of person to put my life out there, but I needed to release what I felt inside. Guys, I’m being real with myself! Here are the pictures to prove that me being in tears ain’t no joke ahah. Even if something shitty happens to you always smile and be silly. You’ll feel better trust me!

     
  7. What a mess

    I had a thing going on with a guy for two years online. (Yes, it was doomed from the start ahah). Things got rocky and I wasn’t feeling close to him as before so I asked for a week to myself. After that I messaged him just to be told that he had already moved on. He found himself a gf and I was lost for words. It was a pain in the ass to get over him. I was emotionally connected which I never felt so for months it was a struggle to maintain a fake smile. It went unnoticed though because I did my best to get in touch with my feelings and find closure. He mad it harder on me though by telling me about his gf. I still wanted to remain friends because he wasn’t just some guy I liked he was an actual friend. I quickly learned that I needed to escape because that was simply hurting me. So for several months we didn’t speak since I deleted whatsapp. That helped tremendously I was finally able to get myself back together.

    Then about a month ago a friend of mine kept nagging me to get whatsapp back so I did. I noticed he messaged me four to five times when I erased app, but I never got back to him. He then saw I was online and messaged me. I got nervous as fuck, but things quickly calmed down. From then on we had short meaningless conversations which didn’t bother me. I was at peace because I didn’t like how I axed him out and felt good that we were talking again.

    Yesterday he started to be more flirtatious with me by saying how much he missed me and I wasn’t having that because I didn’t feel that it was right 1) he has a gf 2) I was once head over heels for this dude. He then told me that things weren’t working out with her, but they were still going out. He felt that they would eventually break up so I was trying to help him get through it. I told him to really think things through because he told me before that he found great qualities in her.

    Then today he broke the news that they broke up after I told him to stop flirting because it was wrong. Throughout the day he kept on doing that and I kept shutting him down. I told him that all I wanted was to remain friends with him. He told me that he doesn’t want that, he wants to mess around like before. I then said, “so basically I’m here opening my arms as a friend and you’re telling me no spread your legs”? He told me yes it sounds terrible but it’s true.

    Hearing that was a bit painful because I genuinely wanted to remain friends, but I understand him. He was honest and that I can respect. The guy is young and wants to explore what else is out there. My responds was No. Sorry, look elsewhere.

    I know that if I said yes I’d start to get emotionally connected. I had to draw the line for myself. And the fucker is a romantic kind of guy so of course chicks fall for him ahaa.

    It will be easier to heal this time around, but damn I’m still in tears with a heavy heart. He kind of opened the wound.

    On the bright side I gained some experience with online-dating. I swear it was never meant to go that route but it happened, so watch your back.

     
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  9. Messy hair and dirty nails

     
  10. So much make-up that it makes my eyes alluring.

     
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  12. Stuart Ojelay Vs. Jade - Don’t Walk Away

     
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  14. The face paint is inspired by Luis Royo’s book Dead Moon

    I added a little blood cause I like gore ahah.

     
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